we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This house was built for laser tag.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
