NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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