I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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