She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize