but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
