Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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