I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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