I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
