I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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