How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
