Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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