Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
