Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
