so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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