the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize