A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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