I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
