Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
