i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize