The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize