On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize