he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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