Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is my gift to your gina
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
