he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
