Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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