I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Green mimosas i think yes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
