My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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