On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
