dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
