I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
