I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
