i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
