dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
