i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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