Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
