carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
