I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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