Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just found puke in my bra..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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