the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
