there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
