If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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