i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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