What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
