somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
