BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize