Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
