I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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