i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize