sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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