whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
so much tequila, so little girl.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
