There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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