I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
