i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
