he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
