then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Even my vagina gasped.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
