he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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