How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
