I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
