this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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