Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
